A little lost at Christmas

12 Dec

Ever feel that confusion and unhappiness have the worst timing ever?  This holiday season hasn’t been the easiest for this little hippie.  Uncertainty and a sense of being lost has filled my days which should be chock full of holiday plans, baking and decorating.  Fitting holiday parties, and gift shopping around a budget should be the biggest stress in my life now.  Yet here I am, facing one of the most meaningful, and love filled time of year with a heart a little colder, a little older, and a lot more tired.  I’m not telling you this for pity comments, or anything underhanded like that.  Maybe I am just done pretending that everything has to seem “OK” this time of year.

My personal life is slightly chaotic, and I went from being a housewife to working two, part-time jobs, one of which I do not like at all and the other well it’s not so bad, it’s just the situation that makes it less enjoyable.  To top it off I have been sick this whole week!!!  I just can’t seem to catch a break.  I don’t even know when my next day off is.  Grumpy, grump, OK I am done complaining.

I find myself wishing for Christmas to be gone and done with, which I try to stifle because that is no way to treat this blessed season.  I should take the hardships I am dealing with and look at them as a way for me to grow stronger as a person; mentally, and religiously.  But then again I am only human and its so easy to fall into the “poor me” trap.  Self pity it such a weak show of character and yet I am guilty of it over and over.  Maybe that is why I need this rough Christmas, sort of tough love from the man above, help me straighten up my act, and open my eyes to all the good in my life.

If I do get a bit whiny, reader, please just bear with me, this girl isn’t gonna give in that easily.  2011 is gonna see a stronger better Bessy T.  Lets just hope 2010 doesn’t kill me first.  j/k


2 Responses to “A little lost at Christmas”

  1. NatalieBrooke December 12, 2010 at 3:12 pm #

    Awwe Bessy! I can totally relate, sometimes around Christmas time I get the same way for many other reasons. Just try to make some time for yourself, and get crafty, pamper yourself, or just relax with your hubby. Try not to stress, everything will work out! 🙂 Keep smiling!!

    -Natalie Brooke ❤

    • thehippiehousewife December 14, 2010 at 5:35 pm #

      Thanks hun ,that was a very sweet comment and I really appreciate it!

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